Journal Writing

Before I was able to film the opening, I needed to prepare what was going to be written in the journal. I discussed my general idea for what I was aiming for in another blog post. Since what was written in the journal would be turned into the rap, I decided to "work backward." My process was to create the rap, and then transform that into what the main character would be writing in the journal. By writing it that way, I would ensure that the end result of the rap would sound how I wanted it to.

I had quite a bit of difficulty writing the rap because I wanted it to be written sincerely, but I was lacking the insight and inspiration I needed. I was getting really stressed out over it because to stay on schedule, I had to have it written by the weekend, when I'd be filming. I knew that I'd have to come up with something regardless, but I also want to be proud of my work and look at it knowing that it was what I want to feature in my project.

To make a long story short, one night before I went to bed, I finally came up with the rap that I wanted. I wrote it almost effortlessly, and reading it back, I know that this is how I want the character's state of mind to portrayed. The rap is as follows:

"I'm really sad again.

I feel so alone.

I don't even feel like

My house is my home.

I want to escape,

But I don't know where I'd go,

So I'm left feeling empty

And feeling so alone.

I don't wanna go to school.

I don't wanna see anybody.

I'm drifting from myself,

Separating from my body.

I just want to be happy,

Want to be freed from the tears.

I don't know if I can go on

And make it another year."

The journal entry was then derived from that. It needed to sound more naturally written, with less of a rhyme and more of something that would be spoken. The result is below:

"I'm depressed again. I'm so alone. I don't even feel like this house is a home. I want to break out, but I don't even know where I'd go. I'm here, empty, and I feel so isolated. I don't want to go to school or see anyone. I'm slipping from myself, my body. All I want is to be happy, to be freed from all these stupid tears. I don't know if I can keep going and make it to next year."

That would be signed off with the character's name, which has yet to be decided.

The journal entry and rap clearly resemble each other, which is what I wanted. Ultimately, I am pleased with how this turned out.

My next step is to cast the character and film the scene.